Granted, every new year provides a platform for each of us to take a fierce inventory of ourselves, our behavior and our accomplishments – next, comparing them with where we were one year before, we can try to change ourselves. I get it. Amazon’s stats can show you the different levels of how resolutions drove economics in 2023-2024.
What if something’s wrong here?
Regardless of how much profit is derived by resolution-focused companies in January of each year, what if the entire process of presenting an annual list of resolutions is in error?
What if there is something deeply ingrained in each of us, hungering NOT after resolutions, but rather after second-chances?
Wait, what’s the difference?
By definition a resolution is “a firm decision to do or not to do something.” This definition creates an image of a focused person who anticipates success in the immediate future.
It might involve:
Losing weight Running a 5K Reading classic books – ones you’ve always wanted to tackle Choosing a certain type of vacation or getaway Changing your diet for health reasons Whereas a second chance is “an opportunity to try something again after failing.”
The second definition lays it out for us: we failed and still have the desire to try again. Nicholas Cage in The Family Man faces the failure of his doppleganger existence when his sweet young daughter calls him out for NOT succeeding as a father in the simple things of life. He soon chooses to change.
Second chances might involve:
Choosing a new employment direction after losing your job Exercising with purpose after a health scare Choosing to add a child to your family while realizing timing may never be perfect Working on your marriage with intention (and maybe counseling) Moving to a now town or state and being proactive to create community Resolutions are helpful when they take the form of a “Planning Weekend”. You get to look at key areas of your life for the next year and write down specific goals you wish to accomplish. Years ago, Susan and I began setting aside weekends to plan for the new year. At first, we just shipped our kids off to friends’ houses and turned off our phones. Complete quiet and focused time together allowed us to plan in five or six categories what we were determined to accomplish in the New Year.
As years turned into decades, we shifted to local hotels and weekends that blended planning, movies, and nice dinners out – in other words, we made the time together wonderful moments of joy for us as a couple. Once we determined our goals for the next year, we created a simple 4-page bullet-point document that we referred back to throughout each upcoming year. In fact, we’ll soon be having our next planning weekend in our local downtown, sometime in February.
Like all resolutions, as the year progresses, we look at the planning sheets goals and realize what made sense and what did not. Not everything comes to fruition. Albert Brooks captures the emotion well in his classic, Lost in America.
Some of our misplaced goals have involved possible travel to some wild places like Antarctica, Russia, and parts of Africa – places that as we’ve aged, become less and less interesting to us. Don’t get me wrong, in recent years our list involved visiting Israel (which we’ve done SEVERAL times), riding bikes across Europe, going to Paris and Iceland, chasing the Beatles’ lives in Liverpool and just recently, visiting Ireland, being in London for (but missing!) King Charles III’s coronation, and driving down Route 66. These goals worked for us, but some we drew a line through and said, “Nah.” Resolutions don’t always work, but they are important, nonetheless.
But what about second chances?
Well, whenever employment opportunities changed for me, Susan and I took a fierce inventory and reviewed our options. In 1990 we were offered a position working in association with Dr. James Dobson and Focus on the Family. They offered a second chance to my family - to leave California and move to Idaho. We accepted - and for 10 years served in Boise. Along the way, we decided to have another baby – a new little addition for our clan of four. 33 years ago, Colin William was added to the mix! A second chance at parenting was given to us. We were different people by this stage in life.
When we finished our agreed-on term of 10 years with Dr. Dobson, I ran for Congress… and lost. ANOTHER second chance came my way. Jim and Joan Stephens offered me a chance to learn how to become a business coach. That was 25 years ago! I have coached so many wonderful clients and have enjoyed every minute of this position. As I age, I still coach, though I’m veering towards retirement, I suppose.
A very special second chance came when my father and I reconciled our relationship. It had been a long and very hard road for most of my life, but at a certain time and in a certain way, father and son reconciled our friendship and love and we each gave the other a second chance. That act changed my life…and his. I wrote a book about this powerful change - click below to take a look:
Finding Malone (ebook PDF) A single gift from a seemingly distant and unloving father sparked a journey of discovery.
Get it now! dennismansfield.kit.com/products/finding-malone How about you? What resolutions do you have bouncing around in your head for 2025? As well, what second chances were you hoping/praying for as you navigated the rough waters of this past year?
Write them down, talk with those people closest to you and share your resolutions (simple as they are) and your need for second chances (as complex as they can be). What would January be like for you if you gave yourself a second chance?
I'm examining my resolutions in February when Susan and I head off for our planning weekend together. It’ll be fun and enjoyable.
My second chance? For me it happened in November. I experienced open heart surgery – my condition was quite serious - and fortunately we had time to prepare for it. I’m in recovery now, almost 6 weeks distant from that time on the surgery table. You can read more about that here.
I was given a second chance to live.
What about you?
Let me know.
All the best, Den
Den's Latest & Greatest
Take a look at my book Finding Malone and see how my dad and I had a second chance. Give yourself grace – plan your work, work your plan and when it falls to crap, give yourself a second chance. That’s what I do!
I wondered what the Secret Service Agents REALLY felt about former President Carter. The old anonymous adage rumbled around in my mind: “No man is a hero to his own valet…” Apparently, that unidentified person was in error…
Resolutions or Second Chances?
When January appears, so do resolutions.
(Could we also be hungering for a second chance?)
Granted, every new year provides a platform for each of us to take a fierce inventory of ourselves, our behavior and our accomplishments – next, comparing them with where we were one year before, we can try to change ourselves. I get it. Amazon’s stats can show you the different levels of how resolutions drove economics in 2023-2024.
What if something’s wrong here?
Regardless of how much profit is derived by resolution-focused companies in January of each year, what if the entire process of presenting an annual list of resolutions is in error?
What if there is something deeply ingrained in each of us, hungering NOT after resolutions, but rather after second-chances?
Wait, what’s the difference?
By definition a resolution is “a firm decision to do or not to do something.” This definition creates an image of a focused person who anticipates success in the immediate future.
It might involve:
Losing weight
Running a 5K
Reading classic books – ones you’ve always wanted to tackle
Choosing a certain type of vacation or getaway
Changing your diet for health reasons
Whereas a second chance is “an opportunity to try something again after failing.”
The second definition lays it out for us: we failed and still have the desire to try again. Nicholas Cage in The Family Man faces the failure of his doppleganger existence when his sweet young daughter calls him out for NOT succeeding as a father in the simple things of life. He soon chooses to change.
Second chances might involve:
Choosing a new employment direction after losing your job
Exercising with purpose after a health scare
Choosing to add a child to your family while realizing timing may never be perfect
Working on your marriage with intention (and maybe counseling)
Moving to a now town or state and being proactive to create community
Resolutions are helpful when they take the form of a “Planning Weekend”. You get to look at key areas of your life for the next year and write down specific goals you wish to accomplish. Years ago, Susan and I began setting aside weekends to plan for the new year. At first, we just shipped our kids off to friends’ houses and turned off our phones. Complete quiet and focused time together allowed us to plan in five or six categories what we were determined to accomplish in the New Year.
As years turned into decades, we shifted to local hotels and weekends that blended planning, movies, and nice dinners out – in other words, we made the time together wonderful moments of joy for us as a couple. Once we determined our goals for the next year, we created a simple 4-page bullet-point document that we referred back to throughout each upcoming year. In fact, we’ll soon be having our next planning weekend in our local downtown, sometime in February.
Like all resolutions, as the year progresses, we look at the planning sheets goals and realize what made sense and what did not. Not everything comes to fruition. Albert Brooks captures the emotion well in his classic, Lost in America.
Some of our misplaced goals have involved possible travel to some wild places like Antarctica, Russia, and parts of Africa – places that as we’ve aged, become less and less interesting to us. Don’t get me wrong, in recent years our list involved visiting Israel (which we’ve done SEVERAL times), riding bikes across Europe, going to Paris and Iceland, chasing the Beatles’ lives in Liverpool and just recently, visiting Ireland, being in London for (but missing!) King Charles III’s coronation, and driving down Route 66. These goals worked for us, but some we drew a line through and said, “Nah.” Resolutions don’t always work, but they are important, nonetheless.
But what about second chances?
Well, whenever employment opportunities changed for me, Susan and I took a fierce inventory and reviewed our options. In 1990 we were offered a position working in association with Dr. James Dobson and Focus on the Family. They offered a second chance to my family - to leave California and move to Idaho. We accepted - and for 10 years served in Boise. Along the way, we decided to have another baby – a new little addition for our clan of four. 33 years ago, Colin William was added to the mix! A second chance at parenting was given to us. We were different people by this stage in life.
When we finished our agreed-on term of 10 years with Dr. Dobson, I ran for Congress… and lost. ANOTHER second chance came my way. Jim and Joan Stephens offered me a chance to learn how to become a business coach. That was 25 years ago! I have coached so many wonderful clients and have enjoyed every minute of this position. As I age, I still coach, though I’m veering towards retirement, I suppose.
A very special second chance came when my father and I reconciled our relationship. It had been a long and very hard road for most of my life, but at a certain time and in a certain way, father and son reconciled our friendship and love and we each gave the other a second chance. That act changed my life…and his. I wrote a book about this powerful change - click below to take a look:
Finding Malone (ebook PDF)
A single gift from a seemingly distant and unloving father sparked a journey of discovery.
Get it now! dennismansfield.kit.com/products/finding-malone
How about you? What resolutions do you have bouncing around in your head for 2025? As well, what second chances were you hoping/praying for as you navigated the rough waters of this past year?
Write them down, talk with those people closest to you and share your resolutions (simple as they are) and your need for second chances (as complex as they can be). What would January be like for you if you gave yourself a second chance?
I'm examining my resolutions in February when Susan and I head off for our planning weekend together. It’ll be fun and enjoyable.
My second chance? For me it happened in November. I experienced open heart surgery – my condition was quite serious - and fortunately we had time to prepare for it. I’m in recovery now, almost 6 weeks distant from that time on the surgery table. You can read more about that here.
I was given a second chance to live.
What about you?
Let me know.
All the best,
Den
Den's Latest & Greatest
Take a look at my book Finding Malone and see how my dad and I had a second chance.
Give yourself grace – plan your work, work your plan and when it falls to crap, give yourself a second chance. That’s what I do!
Sign up for my twice-monthly newsletters, from which this article came. Click here: dennismansfield.kit.com/profile/products ... See MoreSee Less
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I wondered what the Secret Service Agents REALLY felt about former President Carter. The old anonymous adage rumbled around in my mind: “No man is a hero to his own valet…” Apparently, that unidentified person was in error…
www.deseret.com/politics/2025/01/03/us-secret-service-provided-security-for-jimmy-carter-for-48-y... ... See MoreSee Less
Protecting Jimmy Carter
www.deseret.com
The U.S. Secret Service's longest mission.